Ugh.
I fell back on my bed, having just
completed 12 hours of debate over 2 days. I say completed, but I mean pummeled and
dragged through. I was at my wits' end; even trying my hardest, a mediocre competitor
like myself couldn’t even touch the other debaters at the UK Season Opener,
some of whom had gotten awards at nationals.
Another
defeat.
Looking ahead to the season in
front of me, I didn’t like my prospects. To know that so many people were so
much better than me… to a perfectionist, it was nearly crushing. Why even try when
I’ll just lose again? Such was my attitude going into the second tournament of
the season.
But for that second tournament,
something was different. Often when I was about to make a mistake, something in
my brain told me, “No, wait. That’s
really dumb. Remember how that one guy beat you by doing it better at UK…”
And at Ryle High School, where I for
the first time placed above a number of my previously invincible opponents, I
learned the value of mistakes. The door hadn’t changed at all — none of the
other debaters had magically gotten worse and unlocked the door of possibilities for me.
But by ramming myself into the walls of my own limitations, learning from
defeat each time, I eventually broke through anyway. I’m still not amazing at
Congress, but I’m a better thinker, worker, and communicator — all extremely
valuable skills that I learned from not initially having them.
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